why not

It's been awhile, I know...not sure if there are any listeners out there, but I thought I'd post nonetheless.

Even if the jury's still out on the boy from lastnight...I can't tell you how nice (and overdue) it is to have a sunday afternoon like this.

Maybe it's the combination of the sun, the fresh ginger molasses cookie from Starbucks (good god is this good) or the glow from lastnight's perfect date...but whatever it is, it's nice.

I am happy today :) And I am happy many days but sundays as a single gal are always a little bittersweet. But not today.

Come to think of it, it may very well be the cookie.

Whatever it is, I'll take it.

:)

floating

I've been absent...I must admit. I've been letting my voicemail fill up, skipping the gym and floating my way through conference calls as if I'm an intern with a trust fund. I've been totally floating.

I haven't found time to disect my emotions, my actions, my endless makeouts because to be honest, I've been stupidly happy.

Spring has sprung and it has brought a new sense of excitement to my life that I don't want to stop and wax poetic on for fear that it will end.

So, I'm taking a break to enjoy things as they come but promise to be back as soon as I'm ready to go back to my over analyzing self.

:)

Ta ta friends. Happy spring.

finally

Lastnight, in between dirty martinis and dirtier text messages, I bumped in to Michael.

And....

For the first time in 16 months, I felt nothing...

...well not nothing, but definetly not anything negative or remotely close to sad. It was a bridge I've been waiting to cross for over a year....and crossing it was all I had imagined.

prom for 20somethings

Saturday night was truly fit for a teen queen...we celebrated the onset of spring with prom for 20somethings and it was ridiculously fun!

I spent the entire day prepping, panicing in a way I hadn't since Homecoming circa 1999...I didn't skip a beat....mani.pedi, hair appointment, lastminute accessories shopping..the whole bit. By noon I had crafted the ideal spring fling ensemble, sweated it out for two hours at the gym and prepped my apartment for any late night rendevous'. I spent the remainder of the day getting my nails and toes done and a perfect blowout....amidst all the activites, I even had butterflies!

My date (the cute boy who cooked me dinner last week) picked me up in a horse drawn carriage, salsa danced like a true Latin gentleman and whispered sweet nothings into my ear between bites of lobster ceviche and endless sangria.

It was great.

And the best part was, unlike prom, I could have a sleepover without worrying that I'd get caught. And do other things that I had no confidence (or right) in doing when I was 17.

I suppose it'd be too much to say he even called lastnight to ask for the host's address....so he could send a hand written thank you note!

It's true gals...I think we may have rebound relationship in the works.

victory

You know you're back to being BFF when your old beau emails you this:

Hey babe...I have some kind of an infected swollen blackhead on my nose. Got any advice? Apply a warm compress?

recap

The date was suberb...complete with an artesian cheese platter and Duke Ellington on surround sound.

I was a bit thrown off at first, when he mentioned cooking at his place for the first date, but all fears were calmed after two fine glasses of Cab and no presence of refined carbs.

The conversation flowed beautifully and the breadth of topics included everything from childhood celebrity crushes (his: Kelly Kapowskil; mine: Kirk Cameron) to world history (yeah!).

And yes, there was kissing. Great kissing.

Saturday was equally great. A day full of cooking and fine dining followed by a great night's rest. I woke up this morning with 3 missed calls (sans voicemail) and a handful of texts from the Frat Party crush who despite all hints, still doesn't seem to grasp the concept of a proper phone call.

At least I have Friday :)

and kissing.

datedrama

The scoop:
Name: Jamie
Location: tbd
Outfit: no fucking clue

Jeans, black pants, dress, funky accessories, classy accessories, wedges, stilhettos....the list goes on!

HELP!

text schmext

What is with single guys who think that sending a text can replace a phone call or even email!?!

It has gotten to the point, where I truly think that some men believe they can build a relationship via text messaging and MySpace comments.

I'm all for a quick "hello" or even "what are you up to cutie", but not scheduling dates, rendevous' or gauging likes and dislikes.

This is simply ridiculous, where does it end!

yah!

I must say, the word of the stars agrees with me!

Aries (March 21 - April 19): Everybody's in love with you all of the sudden, and your grin is wider than a Cheshire cat's. The sun is boosting you charisma factor. You're finding sexy e-mails and cute little love notes around every corner.

a little more serious

I'm not sure that this is the venue to share these thoughts, but it's the only one I've got at the moment that has any type of reach....so as a female dedicated to the betterment of young women everywhere...I'm just gonna shoot.

For the last 14 years, I have allowed my mind to be overly consumed and obsessed with my body...to the diameter of my thighs and the swell of my cheeks...to the calories consumed and the men who never stared. To the mother that pushed for something else and the society that didn't shame her for it.

I'm sure some of you are rolling your eyes right about now and thinking, “ugh, how annoying...another female rant on the troubles of weight and the society that propels it.”

Well, you're right. It is annoying.

Annoying as hell.

Annoying that when I was 11 years old I went for 6 days eating only fruit and water, while my peers gossiped about training bras and french kisses. Annoying that I never once appreciated my own body unless it was being touched by a man who never thought twice about honoring it. Annoying that I made myself sick in secrecy for years while maintaining an aura of leadership, academic excellence and poise. Annoying that I asked my 7 year old sister if she thought I was fat while discrediting her own insecurities and complexities.

Annoying that I've forced everyone important in my life to unwillingly go through the pain with me.

It is a horrific reality that way too many women are faced with today. One that revolves around a body, an image, a lifestyle that is unattainable to even the most starved and dedicated of females.

This is not about being thin, or being pretty, this is about dedicating years, perhaps decades, of your life to wanting to be something else on the exterior while your soul just screams for a voice of it's own. This is about a society that perpetuates an ideal that we are taught to believe is the ticket to contentment and happiness. And it's so tragically wrong.

For over 15 months I have been on a journey far more exciting and terrifying than any backpacking trip or cliffjump in the world. It has been a journey that will...once and for all...despite what images, comments or self imposed judgements may be against me...lead me to freedom.

I post this not for your empathy, grieve or apologies but rather to let you know that this, this enthusiasm and belief, is the most genuine feeling I have ever had...to know that I am so close to authentically loving myself that I can't help but share it with the world.

No one deserves to let a voice, a mirror or an image stop them from loving themselves when life on the other side of the fence is oh so lovely.

Come join me...there is plenty of room for more.

body image
Feminism
Self Esteem
Personal Growth

cutest. ever.

CutestEver
Originally uploaded by maidofhonor.

This is my little nephew Charlie taking some time out from the stresses of Doggy Day Care to chill on top of his friend Duncan.

Duncan the Dane.

Charlie the Chihauhau.

I can't handle the cuteness! (Melati, I thought you'd appreciate this!)

wedding date

Big advice needed here kids...my BFF's wedding is coming up soon (one that I am honored to be serving as bridesmaid for)....and Michael is invited.

Now ofcourse this is great...not a problem at all, but the question is, do I bring a date?
Or just look fabulous solo?

weekend fun

Well, the frat party was a blast...complete with Jello shots, Domino's thin crust and bathroom makeouts. The sorority sister in me was out in full force and phrases like "totally rad" and "sweetness" were thrown out like candy.

The whole evening was a complete free for all...between my friend Abby making out on the floor (in the middle of the party!) to sneaking off with boy (whose name I later forgot)...we really kicked it in to gear Lambda Lambda Lambda style (and we did so with no shame).

I did not disappoint....you would have been proud (and for the record, there were no beer goggles, the makeoutmadness was HOT!)

If this is single living,
bring
it
on.

Survey

What did you wear in 1998?

I need your help for a v. cheesy and v. fun frat party this weekend. It's not a real party per say, however, we are all going to act a fool as if we were partying it up Lambda Lambda Lambda '98 Pledge Class style.

What to wear!!?!?!

homeward bound

Heading up to the land of lakes for the weekend so there will be no sex&champagne&fabulous nights on the town to fill you in on...but there will be homecooked meals&sistertime&long walks around the lake, which may very well be more satisfying.

Enjoy your weekend.